We attended church today . . . such an exciting place where everyone just loves to come and worship and fellowship and learn about and serve God. But I found myself, shortly after church, questioning the “whys” of our being called to full-time overseas mission work right now . . . while things seem to be so good. God has blessed us personally and blessed His work here, and I and my family are quite comfortable and content. I wasn't questioning the call, but just the timing of it. And to be honest, I sometimes find myself fearing the uncertainties of what the future holds for our family of six. So my feelings seemed to be a mix of 'why now?' and a little 'scaredy catness' (please pardon the term).
And I come away from all of that with this: Aren't we a pathetic lot? I mean, God proves Himself faithful in so many, many ways . . . countless, actually. And then I question His timing? I'm reminded of Job . . . whose circumstances were extremely dire, to say the least. And then God's poignant questions to him: “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? . . . Have you ever in your life commanded the morning, and caused the dawn to know its place, that it might take hold of the ends of the earth, and the wicked be shaken out of it? . . . . .Have you entered into the springs of the sea or walked in the recesses of the deep? . . . Have the gates of death been revealed to you? Have you understood the expanse of the earth? . . . . Can you lift up your voice to the clouds , so that an abundance of water may cover you? . . . Who has put wisdom in the innermost being or given understanding to the mind? . . . Will the faultfinder contend with the Almighty?” and then, after Job's wise silence, God begins with round two in chapter 41. (Read it . . . Job 38-41).
Who am I to question His timing? Who am I to question His future provision for our family? I just wrote in the August 11th entry “. . . compared to the God we have and the life He gives us, no cost is too great. How could it be?” I'm honest with Him . . . and I know He desires me to be. Any intimate relationship should at least be this. David is one of our great examples of how honest, and even whiny we can be with the Lord. God is much more gentle and patient with me than I am with myself once I finally get things in perspective. And through my fears and uncertainties He strengthens me. I don't know why He contends with us (this is the age old question, isn't it?), but I'm so glad He does.
Now, let me share some exciting news of what happened later in the day. Our Ford Escape sold. It was the second day that it had been for sale, and it sold. We made $1000 on the sale and eliminated a monthly debt of $212, and then whatever the monthly insurance for it comes out to be. So we're able to apply the $1000 and then an additional $212 a month to the elimination of our debt. YEA!!! (We had tried to sell the thing last year. It was 'for sale' for a couple of months and we didn't even get inquiries on it.) It's wonderful news in the elimination of all our debt so we can go overseas.